Boston, MA — In a press briefing that left engineers visibly deflated, OpenAI confirmed Wednesday that ChatGPT is now used primarily for one purpose: determining…
Seattle, WA — A sprawling new economic analysis released Friday has confirmed a haunting truth: if even a fraction of the money poured into artificial…
Melbourne, Australia — Declaring himself a “disruptor of the unemployment space,” local resident Darren Caldwell announced Friday that he is officially launching LinkedOut, a revolutionary…
Dublin, Ireland — Admitting that having a crush past the age of 25 feels like “emotional slapstick comedy,” 32‑year‑old Maeve O’Connell announced Thursday that she…
Dallas, TX – After decades of receiving the wrong fries, accidentally swapped drinks, and mysterious burgers with no recollection of ordering them, customers nationwide are…
A routine Tuesday outside his office turned unexpectedly surreal for Marcus Fields, who reported that he initially caught two kids smoking pot near the building…
After a week spent scrolling through headlines, social media threads, and obscure policy newsletters, Emily Vargas announced Tuesday that being informed about the world may…
Consumer confidence in modern technology wavered Monday after researchers confessed they have no earthly clue how air fryers work, despite owning several of them. “Look,…
Sociologists confirmed Tuesday that today’s teenagers are facing an unprecedented crisis: their parents are, by every measurable metric, objectively cooler than they are. The reversal…
In a bold declaration that left mental-health professionals nationwide rubbing their temples, 27-year-old Daniel Weiss announced Monday that he has officially replaced therapy with algorithm-generated…